Work Out
It was a fantastic weekend last weekend, I was riding a high, at one point on Saturday exploring a new area, closing my eyes as I and the song hit a high note simultaneously.
Later on physically heading up, but to a pretty cool coffee festival with an even better view, before descending to watch Flamengo in a lil' pizzeria. At first it seemed quiet for such a big game, but in Brazilian fashion, many of them were just late to the party, including the players. The game not being much of a spectacle until the 80th minute when it exploded into life, with chance after chance resulting in a 1-1. Flamengo still 4 points adrift with 7 games to go.
We continued drinking into the night at a small bar/club next door called comuna which guessing by its inhabitants (and obvious Latin root) means commune or for the communists. A very left-wing atmosphere was building with chants of ele não occurring as well as many homosexual displays. Generally they are so much more open to gay people or trans people and I'm becoming so much more to accustomed to it. Its not that I ever felt uncomfortable back home, it was just more noticeable due to a lack of exposure. Here, its way more common to see two gay lovers holding hands or kissing on the benches as well as an increase in the amount of trans people. Its so much more welcoming.
After a few beers the Portuguese flowed a lil' easier and I was having some great conversations with many people who humored me, helped me and understood me. I did wonder if we would be as welcoming to someone speaking very broken English to us in a club, hmmmm... I left when I could no longer speak in Portuguese. I still had enough to speak English, just about. I returned feeling great and awoke with no real hangover, things going swimmingly.
But what goes up must go down, as I found when returned Sunday night, after a frustrating game of football. As before, there were 3 common denominators, the football performance, the excessive alcohol the night before and the voting of the natives. This time for the real presidency and their far right candidate, who indeed won.
A photo was here; it wasn’t in the backup.
What a picture.
It really depicts the feelings of many Brazilians here, but unfortunately not the majority and this is the democracy in action that I declared my love for one month back. The return home from the football was sound-tracked by a melody of car horns, cheers and 'fireworks'. Although it should be noted I did not SEE any fireworks... In contrast I did see several people in tears. This was as divided as the rest of them.
For myself and some people I've spoke to it's the attitude he projects and validates towards those in the minorities or those more vulnerable. A common theme throughout the world at the moment, a world which could also come under further threat from him.
After all us 'flexitarians' and actual vegans did to try and rebel against the agriculture in places such as the amazon, it seems it may be futile. If he can implement his previous promises, he will cultivate indigenous and protected land for the use of agriculture, mining and big businesses, tearing down the rainforest.
Voices abroad and myself included, looking from the outside with no reference to previous Brazilian politics, can't believe they've chosen this tyrant. But speaking with taxi drivers, friends and locals alike, the rejection for the opposition is much higher than the hatred of Bolsonaro. Many people trying to explain to me how PT have been in power for too long (16 years) and within the last 8 years; violence is rising, the economy falling and their previous 'saviour' Lula is now tainted with the very corruption that Bolsonaro promises to rid. They are hurt. They want a change. Although I'm not sure this is the answer.
Many articles have been claiming fake news decided things and they will no doubt have had some influence but this was always coming, they will not vote for the previous party. It was more about rejection than support for Bolsonaro with 30% who were registered to vote deciding not or voting blank, 42 million people. If the PT faithful hadn't boosted themselves into the 2nd round, another candidate would have definitely had a better chance at toppling Bolsonaro. Alas... here we are.
Already their economy has taken a turn due to the belief in him throughout business circles. Which means bad news for me. Being paid in dollars I have taken a pay cut.
Told you he was a bastard.
This month I was meant to be doing a bit better and have a bit of breathing room but now that's fucked it. I've had to pick up a side hustle and do more hours of work than 15 a week. Modern Slavery.
For real though its a pretty cool tutoring job online, where whilst I'm doing my own shit, people ring me for as long as they like, just to have a chat. The past 2 days I've earned $40 talking to an 18 year old Saudi about FIFA, a Korean lady about the work ethic in their culture, and a guy in Italy about firmware and software. I'm hearing lots of different points of views and actually getting a lot out of it as well as cash money. God bless the empire.
Still though, with the real (the currency) rising, if it continues, I will be priced out of Brazil. I'm not worried though cause looking around it seems any other South American country will be cheaper and I'll be able learn another culture and another language. So come February I will head down South I think, to Uruguay or Argentina before settling in a country of my choosing, possibly Colombia, possibly Peru, possibly not Venezuela. My options are pretty open though and I feel very positive. I will miss carnaval but I'm assured January has a sufficient amount of pre-carnaval street parties to soften the blow and new years will be amazing. I also plan to be in SA next year so I can always return.
So after the fall of Sunday, the next few days flip flopped a bit, with difficulty sleeping being the consequence of blissful naps, good coffee and overthinking.
One of the problems being that working at home or on the move can be lonesome, with little opportunity to meet people. I'm starting to feel good about myself again but I could use a lil' love. My tinder game is not strong, my Portuguese weaker and usually my relationships have been through meeting friends of friends or working with people, where it has just happened, developing with ease and beauty. But here I find little opportunity to recreate it and in the cruel paradox, the more you try to look for it, the harder it becomes to find.
I have been reluctant to enter into relationships of late, part in due to my instability of position and part due to previous experience of such instances. This has had a hangover which lead to reluctance for quite a while, but I have learnt a lot and am more open to the fluidity of future plans and going with how you feel. I do miss being in love. I know its the greatest feeling and will bring me the most happiness, yet there's a part of me holding back from it, telling myself I still have more to do. Seeing families and friends around me, I know the grass is not just greener, but always green.
This is my favourite verse of all time.
But I have to take the rough with the smooth, I love the freedom it gives me and I know I'll have plenty of time for that, right now I can enjoy the other things, while I wait. And I still find small pockets of friendship. I'm really enjoying the evenings watching the Brazilian soap and sharing Brigadeiro (essentially a bowl of half melted chocolate) Baconzitos (an absurdly addictive crisp) and Guarana (the angels juice). And Basketball.
These things have a habit of coming along at a good time, when everything is going right and it feels good, so I'm not gunna rush things, it will all work out when its supposed to. I just have to have faith and patience.
Double Chance.
