By Design
Errar
verb
- To Fuck Up
- The act of being wrong in conduct or judgement
- "Eu errei - I fucked up"
I like this verb, we don't really have it in English, but I find it useful and have used it frequently, particularly this weekend.
Before though, flashback to last weekend, quite the opposite.
Last Saturday was as nice a day as its been here, or anywhere I've been on earth for that matter. The weather was so warm, the kind of warm that warms your bones to the core and gives you the feeling of a constant hug. Warm. So of course I did as all humans do and flock to the edge of land to sit on sand in less clothing than usual. Well for most people. I was pretty much the same.
After an hour of searching for my friend, due to a Whatsapp location error. I eventually found her and we spent the day lounging, laughing and talking about everything before a couple of sneaky odds ons got us a wee bit more tipsy than we had planned. With the sunset fast approaching I had to finish 4 beers at the pace of a university rugby player. Inhaling suds and sand as the warm feeling throughout my bones was rapidly changing to cold, a feeling I'm sure many of you back home are familiar with. But it actually enhanced the evening as we tipsily jollied around Ipanema hitting up an Irish bar called Shenanigans which would have been my perfect place had it not been Dublin prices. Irish bar, Karaoke, Stout and Basketball.
I have a new hangover routine on Sundays of heading out to a barzinho to consume a cheese pastel with a can of Guarana. It has since been developed by the discovery of something I have found only in strange but rare places back home. The hash brown hot dog. Completing the trifecta of dank.
From here, the rest of last Sunday flowed perfectly. From beginning to end, things were going my way, the sun was shining and a relaxed atmosphere surrounded myself and everyone I came into contact with. It really was a mentality thing. I hit all green men in perfect time on my way to football and once there, scoring the best strike I've ever hit. I couldn't really believe it myself and responded with the shrug that I must have subconsciously picked up from this man. A common feature.
It carried onto the next few days. After many investments and new challenges, things are starting to fall into place, and it feels like my life is beginning. However there always seem to be one more thing to do. One more thing to get, One more thing to see, however small. Will I always be wanting to do one more thing? I feel one day I will get to a point I will settle and be satisfied. But I'm pretty sure people say that about money and continue to chase. But at least I'm moving forward
"Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving"
- Picture in my brothers guest room/Albert Einstein
It's the whole pursuit of happiness, and that it's not a destination but actually the journey, and tbf at the moment I'm enjoying that too. Learning new skills but doing so in another country seeing some cool shit and meeting different people.
And its warm.
Sometimes I feel content and ready to come home but guys, I honestly don't think I can handle the cold at the moment. If I cant slide down it, what use is the cold weather. I will stay here at least until the temperature rises back home, if not longer.
So on the Thursday I arranged to meet a guy just for a coffee and a chat about visa options. He's an American I met on the corner 🚩, that has been living here for 2 years and said he could help and give me advice. Although I must admit he was a bit sketchy from the get go. But what harm could a coffee and a chat do 🚩. Well foot in the door technique, next thing I know I've paid for his metro 🚩 to go to Copacabana (as he had got a 'taxi' to meet me) to meet a guy who can help me. A judge of all people 🚩, who hes dragged out of bed 🚩 on a Thursday afternoon. Hmmm. Anyway on the tube he said many things that didn't add up 🚩 and was offering things I hadn't asked for 🚩🚩. I kept my wits and was ready to leave if I was ever uncomfortable, having nothing on me and staying to places I knew. As I then waited in the coffee shop, he left to get his mate 🚩 from the bar. He returned slightly stressed this guy had left (angrily he added), probably because I didn't have any documents on me. Obviously not. He proceeded to write down that all he needed was a copie 🚩 of my passport 🚩. So on this I thanked him for his time and left swiftly for the bus home. I was apparently not welcome for his time.
I became angry at myself for even putting myself in that position and returned feeling foolish, knowing I need to be more careful and sceptical. I'm not in Bubbenhall anymore.
But as Friday came around I'd bounced back to positivity and set out on seeing a film in the film festival that has been going on throughout Rio this week. Through availability and time, I found myself watching a Colombian cartoon based on a graphic novel of the childhood of a girl growing up between Ecuador and Columbia. But that was the whole story. Not a lot happened, maybe I would have enjoyed it more if I was an adolescent, an Ecuadorian, or a girl. but alas I am 0 of those things so it didn't really resonate, but pretty cool that I understood most of the Portuguese subtitles. For the rest I always had the English.
Even cooler though was that night I had a date, with a woman from Bahia studying here in Rio. As I napped before, I almost tried talking myself out of it, for no real reason other than nerves and lack of confidence, or maybe just nap crankiness, I can get that confused. But I pulled myself up, donned my only pair of shoes and my matching jumper and headed for the free show across town.
With 15% battery 🚩 I arrived, relying on location services to find her, not knowing actually what she looked like (Tinder). Upon arrival, across texts (still hadn't found her) she asked me if I remembered to bring food. Obviously not. I'm going to a gig. Not a picnic.
She then resent the message about the gig being free, but you must bring food, I didn't get past the free line of the message clearly and I did wonder why everyone walking past me seemed to have a pack of rice 🚩. I hit up the nearby shop after a brief encounter with her as she was going in and thought I'd give em a treat of salt and vinegar crisps 🚩, a good British staple. What a legend. 2 big packs. One for me and one for the gig.
As I was tucking in to my crisps I reread it one more time 🚩, it needs to be 1kg of non perishables. Fuck sake. Back I go again to try one more time. Choosing to offer another of my ancestral foods in spaghetti. Finally getting in after eating 2 big packs of crisps in the queue (nobody wanted any!), we followed many straight out the door and headed to a barzinho.
Now when we first met I'm sure she thought 'Jesus man, this guy can't speak Portuguese' and she would be right, but we persisted through the first barriers and spoke the whole time in Portuguese. We were understanding each other, speaking more fluently with each beer, as I told her would happen, and laughing and smiling all night. Although be under no illusions, it was nowhere near fluent and on occasions, it would take many attempts to understand, but she continued to do so and we had a great time together. On perfect timing for our exit a group of stilt walkers and performers led a crowd of people down the roads in what is already the beginning of pre-carnaval. A great end to a great date.
Feeling ever more confident now, Saturday began with tiresome work and my second job of betting on the football. Although it doesn't pay particularly well, I enjoy it a lot more and watched the scores come in with, at first belief, and after the pivotal 75th minute with terror, yet another week without pay.
Yes I am in Rio watching Soccer Saturday but that's the absolute beauty, I can do that before heading out to meet my friends and have a few drinks in Rio. Eventually.
Another error, although this time I'm shifting the blame to google. I dunno, maybe shes mad cause I had a date or maybe I tell her to shut up too many times, or make her sing questionable songs but she gave me directions to board a bus to head into Catete. Already pissed off cause its double the charge 🚩 for no apparent reason, it seemed to be taking a long way round 🚩. With the early start this morning, I began to nod off 🚩, thinking I'll be fine and will just rest for a few minutes 🚩. All the time reminding myself of tales of my other half, Harry 🚩 who fell asleep on trains and overshot his destination of what is surely a record number of times in a row. 6. I thought it was 4 but on fact checking, I'm assured it was 6 times. 6. In one day. Can we all take a minute to appreciate that.
Anyway I woke up and we were heading away from my destination 🚩🚩🚩 but not past it. I hoped it might be doing a loop round, forgetting the name on the top of the bus as I got on and I decided to ride it out, pun intended. We then went into a tunnel 🚩 leading away from my destination, something that had also happened on Wednesday night. It began to move farther and farther away as my friends watched my location on Whatsapp, very confused. I realised where it was heading and got off just in time before it headed over what can only be described as a monster of a bridge to another town. Now stuck in the centre, I ubered back to where I wanted to go, paying 4 times the price I had originally intended. Meus Deus. But I eventually arrived, spending the evening drinking outside, way into the night with good company, conversations and feelings.
I frequently jump to conclusions on these things but recently, everything is flowing again and despite the errors, they are just occurrences, which of course even though never intended, add to the occasion. I think its all a question of mindset; when negative, you notice the negative things and give importance to them whereas when your smiling as my man Louis says, the whole world smiles with you and you recognize the positive things and things begin to gain momentum.
Right now I'm in the positive, but in a contradiction of thought, it could turn negative. Gotta go with it, but right now I'm feeling good having another fantastic day at the beach.
